It was not always this way. In Victorian England, people who had a death in the family wore solid black for a long time. Eventually, they wore dark greys and purples. If the loss was severe, they never returned to bright colours. It was a formal system and did not always help. However, if you saw someone in black, you knew to treat them gently. Now, you may only get an afternoon off work for a funeral. Your loss is hidden from view. You are expected to get on with life and act as if nothing has changed, even though it has.

Any loss can cause grief. Death is the one that usually comes to mind, but there are many others. Losses like divorce, being fired, children leaving home or losing a prized possession can all result in grief. Grief can resemble depression. Sometimes people are afraid that they should not feel the way they do when they are grieving.

The following signs are all common and normal in grief:

Seek help if you have great difficulty functioning in the weeks after the incident that caused the grief. If you have lost someone very close to you, like a spouse, a parent, or a child, the grief may never totally end. However, it will become bearable. It can take months to years to become fully functional after such a significant loss.

Grief support groups are very helpful. Counselling with a mental health professional or a member of clergy can make a difference. The best thing you can do with your grief is to cry and talk it out. Let others know howyou feel and what they can do to support you through your grief.

Contact your doctor, local hospital or hospice to learn more about grief support groups and services in your area.

Article #6725

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